The List of Questions

*A retelling for children, based on **Portals to Freedom** by Howard Colby Ives.*

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In the spring of long ago, a man named Howard Colby Ives walked toward a tall hotel in the city of New York. He was a minister — someone whose whole job was helping people think about God. And lately, he had been troubled.

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You see, Howard had questions. Big, difficult questions about life and faith that nobody seemed able to answer for him. They kept him awake. They made him restless inside, like a knot that would not come undone.

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Then he heard that a wise Teacher from the East was staying at the Ansonia Hotel, meeting with people who wanted to talk. So Howard made a careful list of all his hardest questions, folded it up, and went to find Him. He even imagined, on the way, exactly how the conversation would go — how he would ask each question, and what he might say back.

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He climbed the stairs to an upper floor. He waited a little while in a small side room. And then, at last, he was led into the room where 'Abdu'l-Bahá was waiting.

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'Abdu'l-Bahá was sitting by the window. His hair was white, and His dark eyes seemed to see Howard completely — as if nothing else in the world were hurrying Him. He stood up. He came forward. He took both of Howard's hands in His own, and sat him down right beside Himself, like an old and dear friend.

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And a curious thing happened. Howard reached for his list of hard questions — and somehow they did not seem so big anymore. As Howard remembered it:

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> All my prepared questions seemed, in the room, suddenly small.

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So he did not ask a single one of them. Instead, it was 'Abdu'l-Bahá who gently asked the questions. He asked about Howard's family. He asked about Howard's work helping his church. He asked whether the people Howard cared for were well and happy. They were such ordinary, kind questions — but the warmth behind them was not ordinary at all.

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At first Howard answered shyly, with just a word or two. Then, little by little, he found himself talking freely. And as he talked, the restless knot that had brought him up those stairs began, all on its own, to loosen and come undone — even though nobody had argued, and nothing had been settled out loud.

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Howard stayed only about half an hour. When it was time to go, 'Abdu'l-Bahá sent him off with a blessing. Howard stepped back out into the bright spring morning — and do you know, he could not even remember what he had planned to do that day. Everything felt new.

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Sometimes we think we need all the right answers before we can feel at peace. But Howard learned that day that love can quiet a worried heart faster than any argument ever could. He had come looking for answers to his questions, and instead he had found something far better: he had been welcomed, and seen, and cared for. He spent the rest of his life as one of the most beloved friends of the Faith.

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*This is a retelling for children. For the fuller account, see ["The First Meeting in the Ansonia Hotel"](/stories/pf-the-first-meeting-hotel).*

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